Using the Celtic Friendship Cup or Quaich in your wedding ceremony.
A traditional pewter Quaich
Humanist Weddings celebrate the love that two people share in a real and personal way. They are often full of tradition and symbolism. We use words and gestures to bring meaning to ceremony and sometimes we use certain objects to bring significance in a dramatic way. One such ceremonial gesture is that of Drinking from the Quaich.
The Quaich-Celtic Origin
The term Quaich comes from the Gaelic 'cuach' meaning cup. Originally a quaich was used for everyday eating and drinking but over the centuries its status has been raised to toasting and deal sealing.
Drinking from the Quaich is an old Celtic tradition which is widely used in Scotland but becoming more and more popular in Ireland recently. A Quaich is a shallow two handled cup, also known as a ‘Love Cup’ or Friendship Cup’, is a symbol of love, togetherness, and trust. It is generally made of pewter but is occasionally found made of wood or some more precious materials. It is usually decorated with ornate Celtic designs. There are companies who will make or personalise your Quaich for you.
Tradition and Ceremony
Legend has it that when warring clans were brokering a peace deal, a Quaich would be produced and filled with good whiskey. In a covenanting ceremony, both enemies would drink from the same cup in a show of trust that neither was trying to poison the other. Equally, if both parties were holding the cup at the same time, they could now draw weapons on each other. Quite a powerful symbol!
Using a Quaich at your Wedding
The Quaich is introduced to the wedding ceremony after the couple have made their vows and promises to each other.
The bride and groom (or indeed, a member of their families) each add a drink to the quaich. The drinks are usually chosen to complement each other, like the newly married couple. Once the drinks are mixed in the quaich, they cannot be separated again, just like the couple.
Their first act as a married couple is to share this drink together. What a joyful way to celebrate their new union!
In another variation, the quaich may be handed to the bride by the groom's parents then to the groom by the bride's parents, with all taking a sip of its contents, as a symbol of welcoming new members to the family. For smaller weddings, the Quaich may be passed to each guest to drink from.
Of course, it is not limited to heterosexual couples! Some same sex couples like to celebrate their families of origin and their chosen families and ask a family member and a special friend to add their drop to the quaich. One of my lesbian couples added a blend of brandy and port that had been mixed weeks before when camping with their sapphic sisters. The couple really wanted the bond with their lesbian community celebrated.
Drinking Every Drop from The Quaich!
You can have some fun and add any drink combination. The list is endless: gin and tonic, whiskey and water, vodka and orange. Why not try a Jagerbomb, if that floats your boat!
Many couples will have a good think about their choice of drink. They may choose a drink that represents their country of origin; They may select their mum's favourite tipple; They might add a combination of the drinks they had on their first date.
Needless to say, the drinks do not have to contain alcohol. One Irish/Mexican couple I married added a combination of Irish Spring Water and Horchata, which is a sweet rice based beverage.
One of the most fun things about sharing a drink from the quaich at a Humanist Wedding ceremony is that whatever goes into the quaich must be finished. So be careful who you ask to pour in the drink. You know, what Auntie Joan’s measures are like!
Wedding Toast
Drinking from the Quaich is a great way to toast your marriage. It is joyful and fun and can include other friends and family members into your Humanist Wedding celebration. Often the couples are glad of a small drop to settle the nerves at the end of an emotional ceremony.
Sláinte!
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